Slumdog Millionaire

Since most readers are well aware of the plot of Slumdog Millionaire I wont go into too much plot detail. Jamal Malik (Patel) is arrested, under suspicion for cheating, after contesting the Indian version of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’. Through flashbacks we discover that behind the answer to each question he gave there is a story and that the whole tale revolves around his search for Latika (Pinto), the girl he loves.

Visually Slumdog is a beautiful film, cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle beautifully captures not only the filth, the pollution, the poverty but also the colour and the beauty of India‘s slums. The editing is spot on while the music and score perfectly compliment the film.

However Slumdog is not a great film. The acting across the board is good but unexceptional. Why Anil Kapoor, who plays the host of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ Prem Kumar, got so much critical acclaim is beyond me. The central love story of the film is unconvincing due to lack of chemistry between Dev Patel and Freida Pinto. Indeed casting the gorgeous, if untalented, Pinto opposite the youthful Patel is probably the worst casting since DiCaprio was cast opposite Winslet in Titanic.

Simon Beaufoys script is functional rather then inspiring and undeserving of the Oscar for Adapted Screenplay which surely should have went to Peter Morgan’s excellent screenplay for Frost/Nixon. Nor should Danny Boyle have won the best director Oscar. Don’t get me wrong Trainspotting (1996) , 28 Days Later (2002) and Sunshine (2007) were not only among the best films of the last decade but also unique films that offered a new perspective on tired genres.

With Slumdog Boyle again tries something different, attempting to combine elements of traditional Hollywood and gritty foreign films. From this point of view he succeeds in making a film containing some the harsher aspects of poverty in the third world accessible to a general audience. Any attention brought to the plight of the third world however should be put in context, Danny Boyle is not exactly Mother Theresa.

So is it worth watching, yes it is. Is it as good as the Oscar tally would have you believe, no it is not. I think the inherent problem with Slumdog Millionaire and Danny Boyles weakness as a director is his inability to portray romance on the silver screen.

Rating: 3.5/5

LEGO Movie Quiz

Okay so we're a bit bored and decided to steal these images posted by Toyzone and create a LEGO Movie Quiz. Nerds have spent hours of their lives recreating scenes from their favourite films and we're glad. See how many you can get. Star Wars is just a sample but there are some tricky ones. Answers below.

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Answers: 1.)Casablanca 2.)Creepshow 3.)Dr. Strangelove 4.)Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 5.)Iron Giant 6.)Kill Bill 7.)Leon 8.)The Life Aquatic 9.)The Matrix Reloaded 10.)Men in Black 11.)Pulp Fiction 12.)Serenity 13.)The Graduate 14.)The Ring 15.)The Termninator 16.)Titanic 17.)Alien 18.)Bride of Frankenstien 19.)2001

Metacritic's Role Of Shame

Just in case you are unfortunate to come across these movies in a DVD store and your nose is blocked so you can't smell the foul stench of a giant turd and you're blind so you can't see how obviously rubbish they look, and you're deaf so you can't hear people laughing at you when you pick up the box, avoid these movies at all costs. They are the all time top 20 worst reviewed movies on Metacritic with their embarrassingly low score beside them. Okay we realise Metacritic has only been going since 2000 and our claims of 'all-time' are slightly (read extremely) false but are you going to argue against us heaping extra shame on these travesties? No we thought not.

1. Bio-Dome 1996 - 1
2. Singing Forest, The 2003 - 1
3. Chaos 2005 - 3
4. Vulgar 2002 - 5
5. Strippers 2000 - 5
6. Two of a Kind 1983 - 5
7. Dirty Cop, No Donut 2001 - 6
8. National Lampoon's Gold Diggers 2004 - 6
9. Baby Geniuses 1999 - 6
10. Hottie and the Nottie, The 2008 - 7
11. Screwed 2000 - 7
12. Perception 2006 - 8
13. Price of Air, The 2000 - 8
14. State Property 2002 - 9
15. Dirty Love 2005 - 9
16. Meet the Spartans 2008 - 9
17. Alone in the Dark 2005 - 9
18. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 2004 - 9
19. Battlefield Earth 2000 - 9
20. Mail Order Bride 2003 - 9

Disclaimer: If you are deaf, and blind and have a blocked nose, we mean no offence but hey, you won't be reading this so screw you.

Happy Birthday Lebowski

It's 10 years since The Big Lebowski was released in cinemas and in celebration, a 10 year anniversary DVD is being released. Buy it. Simple as that. Even if you have it already, it's hopelessly vanilla and pointless (we prefer our dusty VHS copy - at least you know where it stands on the extras front).

The Big Lebowski isn't just a great movie, it's a cultural phenomenon and a case study in how the reputation of a movie can build slowly but surely and consistently over 10 years to the point where nobody will ever be able to order a White Russian again without somebody quoting a Lebowski line. As the latest issue of Rolling Stone points out, the movie wasn't even that well received on release. It didn't appear to have a big message, a brooding intensity (like Blood Simple) or a warm heart in a cold world (like Fargo). On the surface it just appeared to be a simple comedy. And even at that, it was a comedy which, on first viewing wasn't that funny. There were very few sight gags, very few slapstick moments, very few crass taboo-breaking gross-out moments. It was surreal and confusing and densely plotted. We can see why it was a hard sell and a relative box-office failure.

But with every viewing, this movie just gets funnier. The details. It's all in the details. The endlessly quotable dialogue reveals new jokes with every viewing. The plot invites repeat visits with each scene seemling like a brilliant short movie. The supporting cast all look like they are dropping in for a cameo from some equally bizarre Coen Bothers movie that is going on in a parallel dimension (John Turturro even wants to make that movie about his Jesus character).

What some critics failed to see was that this is a brilliant updating or even a parody of classic noir like The Big Heat. A rich powerful man (who in the case of The Big Heat is in a wheelchair like Lebowski) calls on the hero and gets him embroiled in a case with impossibly convoluted twists, turns, vamps and femme fatales involving murder, and double crosses. The reluctant hero must sort his friends from his enemies while solving the case and nothing is what it seems. Take that classic noir template and move it to sunny, daytime California and thrust it upon the least likely hero possible. A person who just doesn't belong in this high stakes world. A person who doesn't even believe in stakes. A person who just doesn't care. A person who is lazy. The Dude! The Coens new that would be comedy gold and they were proved right. This is Sunny Noir. Noir for beach bums.

To say the film doesn't have a message or a heart is trite. The message is simple. Just like Fargo, in a world of immoral nihilism, greed and double crosses, where everyone is out for themselves, it is after all - as our cowboy narrator says - good to know that The Dude is out there taking it easy for all of us. There are people who may seem like failures or losers but quite often, they are simply good people who don't hold personal agendas or greedy ambitions. They live and let live it's good to know they're out there. Not everyone is on the hustle. That's why we all want to be a bit more like The Dude. It's not just about getting to drink White Russians in your dressing gown.

* See above for a cool video on the top 5 ways the Lebowski legend has evolved in the past 10 years.*

Vantage Point

The idea for Vantage Point had potential. An attempted assassination of the President of the United States (Hurt), at a summit of international leaders to discuss global terrorism, takes place in Salamanca (Spain). The film shows us the same half an hour period through the eyes of different characters; the president himself; the TV producer (Weaver), the tourist (Whitaker), the agents in charge of the presidents detail (Fox and Quaid) and so forth. Akira Kurosawa’s Rashomon pioneered this style of filmmaking in 1950 and it has been used in various guises since.

So while not an original idea, surely with a great cast and a big budget we will get a couple of hours of light entertainment. Sadly we spent the end of the film flabbergasted as the plot unfolded, wondering how anyone who read this script actually thought it was a good idea to make this film.

Its shameless that actors of the calibre of Hurt, Quaid and Weaver would sign up for a film like this, though they may longer have the offers they once had. Whitakers participation further proves the Oscar curse where actors careers have a tendency to nose dive after they win the Oscar (see Hillary Swank). But even with a curse in tow, the character he plays and the dialogue he has is truly shocking.

Its not the worst film of all time, the opening half an hour or so is vaguely entertaining. But the longer the film goes on and the plot unravels everything about this film seems to unravel and we are left with actors we once respected sincerely spouting dialogue that is unworthy of the silver screen.

Apparently everyone's (or at least someone's) favourite satirical newspaper The Onion made a movie a few years ago that ran into production difficulties when Fox pulled their financial backing. It eventually got finished then sat on the shelves for a while. It's now finally getting a release on DVD and if you wondered quite how a satirical newspaper can make a film then see the clip above.

Basically the film is a series of sketches that are linked together. The one above is a fake trailer for a Steven Segal movie with the grand title of Cockpuncher. If the rest of the movie maintains this standard, it could be worth investigating.

The Prophecy

Christopher Walken is never idle. He's in a film every other week. He currently earns a living playing far-out characters lurking on the fringe of bad movies, popping in every now and then to do something outrageous and, usually, he's the best thing on show. In every film. Imagine a time in the distant past, when this unhinged creature was at the centre of a movie, and all the other actors didn't have a rashers how to react to his free-flowing insanity. King of New York, The Dead Zone, Brainstorm - those were the days.

Here is a movie that gives him free reign. Chris is archangel Gabriel, chief angel of heaven - there's a great big war up there, and only one soul can settle the battle. Like that South Park episode. And several other holy war/fantasy epics. This is a cheap enough, DTDVD affair, but thankfully, it also has a decent story and is very watchable on the few occasions Walken isn't eating up the screen. Heaven war is impressively presented in brief asides, angel battles are short and vicious and a great cast render the whole affair a treat - Virginia Madsen and Elias Koteas are the humans caught up in it all, Eric Stotlz is good angel and Viggo Moretensen is a convincingly wicked Satan. But it's Walken's show from the get-go and he is endlessly amusing, scary, weird and compelling right the way through. Avoid bogey knock-off sequels, which Walken cameos in. He's the best thing in them as usual, but the films are poor imitations of this excellent diversion.