LEGO Movie Quiz

Okay so we're a bit bored and decided to steal these images posted by Toyzone and create a LEGO Movie Quiz. Nerds have spent hours of their lives recreating scenes from their favourite films and we're glad. See how many you can get. Star Wars is just a sample but there are some tricky ones. Answers below.

1.)

2.)

3.)

4.)

5.)

6.)

7.)

8.)

9.)

10.)

11.)

12.)

13.)

14.)

15.)

16.)

17.)

18.)

19.)


Answers: 1.)Casablanca 2.)Creepshow 3.)Dr. Strangelove 4.)Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 5.)Iron Giant 6.)Kill Bill 7.)Leon 8.)The Life Aquatic 9.)The Matrix Reloaded 10.)Men in Black 11.)Pulp Fiction 12.)Serenity 13.)The Graduate 14.)The Ring 15.)The Termninator 16.)Titanic 17.)Alien 18.)Bride of Frankenstien 19.)2001

Metacritic's Role Of Shame

Just in case you are unfortunate to come across these movies in a DVD store and your nose is blocked so you can't smell the foul stench of a giant turd and you're blind so you can't see how obviously rubbish they look, and you're deaf so you can't hear people laughing at you when you pick up the box, avoid these movies at all costs. They are the all time top 20 worst reviewed movies on Metacritic with their embarrassingly low score beside them. Okay we realise Metacritic has only been going since 2000 and our claims of 'all-time' are slightly (read extremely) false but are you going to argue against us heaping extra shame on these travesties? No we thought not.

1. Bio-Dome 1996 - 1
2. Singing Forest, The 2003 - 1
3. Chaos 2005 - 3
4. Vulgar 2002 - 5
5. Strippers 2000 - 5
6. Two of a Kind 1983 - 5
7. Dirty Cop, No Donut 2001 - 6
8. National Lampoon's Gold Diggers 2004 - 6
9. Baby Geniuses 1999 - 6
10. Hottie and the Nottie, The 2008 - 7
11. Screwed 2000 - 7
12. Perception 2006 - 8
13. Price of Air, The 2000 - 8
14. State Property 2002 - 9
15. Dirty Love 2005 - 9
16. Meet the Spartans 2008 - 9
17. Alone in the Dark 2005 - 9
18. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 2004 - 9
19. Battlefield Earth 2000 - 9
20. Mail Order Bride 2003 - 9

Disclaimer: If you are deaf, and blind and have a blocked nose, we mean no offence but hey, you won't be reading this so screw you.

Happy Birthday Lebowski

It's 10 years since The Big Lebowski was released in cinemas and in celebration, a 10 year anniversary DVD is being released. Buy it. Simple as that. Even if you have it already, it's hopelessly vanilla and pointless (we prefer our dusty VHS copy - at least you know where it stands on the extras front).

The Big Lebowski isn't just a great movie, it's a cultural phenomenon and a case study in how the reputation of a movie can build slowly but surely and consistently over 10 years to the point where nobody will ever be able to order a White Russian again without somebody quoting a Lebowski line. As the latest issue of Rolling Stone points out, the movie wasn't even that well received on release. It didn't appear to have a big message, a brooding intensity (like Blood Simple) or a warm heart in a cold world (like Fargo). On the surface it just appeared to be a simple comedy. And even at that, it was a comedy which, on first viewing wasn't that funny. There were very few sight gags, very few slapstick moments, very few crass taboo-breaking gross-out moments. It was surreal and confusing and densely plotted. We can see why it was a hard sell and a relative box-office failure.

But with every viewing, this movie just gets funnier. The details. It's all in the details. The endlessly quotable dialogue reveals new jokes with every viewing. The plot invites repeat visits with each scene seemling like a brilliant short movie. The supporting cast all look like they are dropping in for a cameo from some equally bizarre Coen Bothers movie that is going on in a parallel dimension (John Turturro even wants to make that movie about his Jesus character).

What some critics failed to see was that this is a brilliant updating or even a parody of classic noir like The Big Heat. A rich powerful man (who in the case of The Big Heat is in a wheelchair like Lebowski) calls on the hero and gets him embroiled in a case with impossibly convoluted twists, turns, vamps and femme fatales involving murder, and double crosses. The reluctant hero must sort his friends from his enemies while solving the case and nothing is what it seems. Take that classic noir template and move it to sunny, daytime California and thrust it upon the least likely hero possible. A person who just doesn't belong in this high stakes world. A person who doesn't even believe in stakes. A person who just doesn't care. A person who is lazy. The Dude! The Coens new that would be comedy gold and they were proved right. This is Sunny Noir. Noir for beach bums.

To say the film doesn't have a message or a heart is trite. The message is simple. Just like Fargo, in a world of immoral nihilism, greed and double crosses, where everyone is out for themselves, it is after all - as our cowboy narrator says - good to know that The Dude is out there taking it easy for all of us. There are people who may seem like failures or losers but quite often, they are simply good people who don't hold personal agendas or greedy ambitions. They live and let live it's good to know they're out there. Not everyone is on the hustle. That's why we all want to be a bit more like The Dude. It's not just about getting to drink White Russians in your dressing gown.

* See above for a cool video on the top 5 ways the Lebowski legend has evolved in the past 10 years.*

Vantage Point

The idea for Vantage Point had potential. An attempted assassination of the President of the United States (Hurt), at a summit of international leaders to discuss global terrorism, takes place in Salamanca (Spain). The film shows us the same half an hour period through the eyes of different characters; the president himself; the TV producer (Weaver), the tourist (Whitaker), the agents in charge of the presidents detail (Fox and Quaid) and so forth. Akira Kurosawa’s Rashomon pioneered this style of filmmaking in 1950 and it has been used in various guises since.

So while not an original idea, surely with a great cast and a big budget we will get a couple of hours of light entertainment. Sadly we spent the end of the film flabbergasted as the plot unfolded, wondering how anyone who read this script actually thought it was a good idea to make this film.

Its shameless that actors of the calibre of Hurt, Quaid and Weaver would sign up for a film like this, though they may longer have the offers they once had. Whitakers participation further proves the Oscar curse where actors careers have a tendency to nose dive after they win the Oscar (see Hillary Swank). But even with a curse in tow, the character he plays and the dialogue he has is truly shocking.

Its not the worst film of all time, the opening half an hour or so is vaguely entertaining. But the longer the film goes on and the plot unravels everything about this film seems to unravel and we are left with actors we once respected sincerely spouting dialogue that is unworthy of the silver screen.

Apparently everyone's (or at least someone's) favourite satirical newspaper The Onion made a movie a few years ago that ran into production difficulties when Fox pulled their financial backing. It eventually got finished then sat on the shelves for a while. It's now finally getting a release on DVD and if you wondered quite how a satirical newspaper can make a film then see the clip above.

Basically the film is a series of sketches that are linked together. The one above is a fake trailer for a Steven Segal movie with the grand title of Cockpuncher. If the rest of the movie maintains this standard, it could be worth investigating.

The Prophecy

Christopher Walken is never idle. He's in a film every other week. He currently earns a living playing far-out characters lurking on the fringe of bad movies, popping in every now and then to do something outrageous and, usually, he's the best thing on show. In every film. Imagine a time in the distant past, when this unhinged creature was at the centre of a movie, and all the other actors didn't have a rashers how to react to his free-flowing insanity. King of New York, The Dead Zone, Brainstorm - those were the days.

Here is a movie that gives him free reign. Chris is archangel Gabriel, chief angel of heaven - there's a great big war up there, and only one soul can settle the battle. Like that South Park episode. And several other holy war/fantasy epics. This is a cheap enough, DTDVD affair, but thankfully, it also has a decent story and is very watchable on the few occasions Walken isn't eating up the screen. Heaven war is impressively presented in brief asides, angel battles are short and vicious and a great cast render the whole affair a treat - Virginia Madsen and Elias Koteas are the humans caught up in it all, Eric Stotlz is good angel and Viggo Moretensen is a convincingly wicked Satan. But it's Walken's show from the get-go and he is endlessly amusing, scary, weird and compelling right the way through. Avoid bogey knock-off sequels, which Walken cameos in. He's the best thing in them as usual, but the films are poor imitations of this excellent diversion.

The Assassination OF Richard Nixon

The more politically aware reader will already be aware that Richard Nixon was never assassinated (No such luck, they might say. Now now!). So it will hardly ruin the climax of this movie to say that it tells the tale of Sam Bick’s spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to assassinate Richard Nixon by flying a plane into the Whitehouse. Those who weren’t aware of Dick’s final fate, frankly, deserve to have the ending ruined for them.

Of course, when the movie was released the headlines were grabbed by the striking similarities between the real life Sam Bick’s plot and the September 11th attacks in New York and Washington D.C. But then there are those who will search incessantly for such uncanny parallels and coincidences from Nostredamus to the diaries of the Columbine killers. They need to get out more. It’s not that outlandish a concept, and that is what this film spends two hours trying to say. The truth is that the method of the planned assassination is irrelevant. This is not a film about fanaticism or terrorism. Rather it is a film about a man falling between the cracks in Nixon’s America. A cross between Death of A Salesman and Taxi Driver, it is a scathing critique on the rampant dog-eat dog, screw-the safety-net commercialism of America and the American Dream where a well-intentioned man can be driven to such extremes. Cast aside the parallels with 9/11, this film is relevant now not as an historical document but because of its contemporary resonances with life in Bush’s America.

It all sounds strikingly familiar. A president with a hopeless economy and a quagmire of a war manages to get re-elected by the American public. Sam’s boss calls Nixon the greatest salesman in the country for managing to sell himself to the public twice, even though his product is shoddy as hell. Sam Bick is a struggling furniture salesman who has recently separated from with his wife and only gets to see his kids on Sundays. He has dreams of setting up a tire company but can’t seem to get his foot on the business ladder. He is a diffident, put-upon man whose sense of ethics only seems to get him left behind. It is his journey from this principled position to one of murderous intent that makes the film all the more shocking.

Any remaining headlines were taken up by Sean Penn’s performance. Although it is certainly impressive and powerful, it has the unfortunate problem of finding itself not a million miles away from his learning-disabled turn in I Am Sam. Yes, he even has the same name. The result, for anybody who has seen both performances, is that his Sam Bick almost seems a little too much like a simpleton. This takes away from his lucid reflections on the nature of the cruelty of the American Dream.

The supporting cast are exemplary with Naomi Watts turning in a restrained and surprisingly under-used performance as Sam’s estranged wife. Don Cheadle’s charisma just about saves his character from being the ‘token black’. Ultimately where this film succeeds where it could so easily have failed is in tone. Director Niels Mueller, sets it just right with an understated soundtrack, sombre muted tones in the cinematography and art direction and a restrained pace throughout. With most films now dining out on their concept for the first act before steadily getting worse as the film progresses, this is a rare exception that starts out with a worryingly shaky premise and tone, before steadily reeling the viewer in and delivering a knockout climax, made all the more shocking given the restraint of what has gone before.

Dark City

This movie looks so good, you could eat your dinner off it. A decade old now, it still looks as impressive today. It's science-fiction noir, akin to Blade Runner & The Matrix - it's Hitchcock & Philip K. Dick's deeply suspicious and malformed offspring. It is ace.

A man wakes up in a hotel room. There is blood all around him. A dead woman lies in his bathtub. The phone rings. A breathless voice on the other end - 'you've got to get out. They're coming.' But they're already outside.

Yes! Great start for any movie. Our hero Rufus Sewell (usually curly-haired Brit villian-for-hire) has no memory and must unravel the mystery surrounding him along with the audience. He lives in a city of imposing skyscrapers, dark alleys and perpetual night - all shot through with an irresistible 20's noir vibe. He is constantly pursued by the Strangers, other-worldly, trenchcoat-sporting evildoers with supernatural power.

We dare not reveal any more of the plot, save to say it leaves normality behind and shoots off into sci-fi pretty fast, but always retains its noir feel and is riveting from the first frame. It starts off great and keeps getting better all the way through. A rarity, to say the least, in modern cinema.

Made by Alex Proyas, director of The Crow and I, Robot, this is a visual feast and there's a terrific cast to boot - William Hurt is the hard-boiled copper on Sewell's tail, Jennifer Connelly the lounge singer from his past, Kiefer Sutherland on ham duty as the mad scientist helping our hero and Richard O'Brien, he of Crystal Maze fame, as chief villian. Watch it, and know that this was out at least a year before The Matrix came along. I can see the crystal! To the industrial zone! What a show.

Super Troopers

Did everyone already see this? It didn't really get a good run in Ireland, but did decent business in the States. If you haven't seen it, and are looking for something to watch with your mates, this is comedy heaven. Now funny is in the eye of the beholder to a point and that becomes painfully evident if you watch movies like this with a female. But it's not for them. This is made by a bunch of lads for bunches of lads to watch.

It is the tale of five guys doing what you would do if you were a cop: drive really fast, faff about with guns, harass innocent folk and play gags on each other all day instead of solving 'crime.' They're hangers of the highest order and their antics will make you howl, or you're lame. Or a girl.

From the first minute, where teens with drugs are subjected to a series of mind games by the team, the stall is set out and the story, frankly, is irrelavant. State troopers compete with local cops for something or other in a hilariously childish way. Original Hannibal Lecter Brian Cox is their boss and he goes for it big style - including a scene where his drunk 'acting' is suspiciously believeable.

The gag rate is very, very high, there are no attempts to inject 'heart' or a message into the plot like Apatow and co's output - this is balls-out crudeness, and all the better for it. In films like this, nerds are not championed - they are mercilessly punished for being who they are. Proper order.

Slap Shot

We have twice suggested you watch this flick recently in our review section, offering it up as superior sports-comedy fare in lieu of Leatherheads and Semi-Pro. To make it official - Slap Shot is the balls. You will emerge from it with a new affinity for ice hockey, 70's threads and even tragic paedo-manna Hanson.

The story is the usual minor league US sports tale (but in 1977 it wasn't tired) - crappy local team about to get sold, adopts new crazy strategy to reverse fortunes and make a final push at success. Seen it all before? Yes, but not done better than this. Directed breezily by George Roy Hill and starring the great Paul Newman (a pairing that brought you Butch & Sundance and The Sting - fuck Redford), this is an extremely satisfying comedy, with engaging characters, big laughs, believeable sub-plots and, its money card, funny violence. Even without the hockey action, this is a high-quality movie, but with full-on, bone-crunching hits added to the stew, it's solid gold.

The trick that Newman's team employs to stave off extinction is to become the dirtiest, cheating-est team in the league. This attracts a legion of savage fans, boosts attendance and so on. The side's change in fortune and new attitude is made flesh in the Hanson brothers, three bespectacled king nerds who also happen to be the filthiest bullies ever to step on the ice. They are hilarious, because ultraviolence is funny.

If you need more than that, this movie provides ample visual evidence why so many inferior comedies base themselves in the 70's. The clobber and hairstyles that abound here in their original form are straight-up gas and are far funnier presented here in their original form than any throwback attempt to exaggerate the fashion of the day. Newman's wardrobe alone would strike serial snitch Huggy Bear blind.

Hayao Miyazaki

If the name mentioned in the title is completely alien to you, then you're very lucky; a bit like someone who would have yet to see Goodfellas or the Shawshank Redemption.

It is quite fair to say that most of us, in the western world, discovered japanese animated movies via the release of the fantastic Akira in 1988. This first contact with mangas (for the majority of people) was a bit of a slap in the face for it led to the realization that "cartoons" could be used as a media to bear all kind of storylines, even the darkest. And for a while, surfing on the successful wave initiated by this "pioneer" movie, a lot of Akira-like movies were brought to us implanting a false notion in our minds : Mangas were violent movies were teenagers kill each other, have sex, drink and fight demons in horrific bloodbaths. And, boy, that was Cool!
But there is way more to mangas than this and a whole world was waiting to be revealed. Miyazaki had been around all this time but we just hadn't seen him yet.
His work became known to us when, in 1997, Princess Mononoke was released in the cinema in Europe. The film was highly successful and, soon after, other Miyazaki movies came to us defining a new benchmark in animation. Originally, I only wanted to talk about Spirited Away, but in all fairness, all his movies deserves to be recognized. But why is that ?

First of all, Miyazaki's movies can be seen by people of all ages for there are many layers to their plots. If these stories of hidden spirits, demons, faeries and magicians could easily be labeled as "faerie tale stuff" thus destined to a young audience, adults will find themselves involved at some stage by another "layer" treating of a more serious and actual subject. Whether it's about War (Porco Rosso, Howl's moving castle), the defense of nature against pollution (Nausicaa, Princess Mononoke, Spirited away, My neighbour Totoro) or the path from childhood to adulthood (Spirited away), with Miyazaki there always is a message coupled with a genuine love for nature and people. The characters are never lame; the bad guys are not simply evil but have their own motivations sometimes even noble, the good guys are never flawless and they always have to face their own weaknesses in order to evolve in the story.

The blend of japanese mythology with actual world and a wee Lewis Carroll touch as well as Jules Verne for all the wacky machinery is definitely another attention grabbing asset. All these elements together bring a real depth and coherence to Miyazaki's world, with its own rules and amazing scenery. And the scenery, indeed, will blow you away; bright colors applied on spectacular landscapes with a particular love for grass (no, not the one you think...), deep forests, immaculate oceans, and high plains, very often seen from above, flying being a recurrent idea for the director. Breathe people! Breathe!

You also have to admire the man for sticking with 2D movies in an age when even Disney studios have lost their souls to 3D. Miyazaki started using computers only from Princess Mononoke onward, and not to draw but just to give a bit of shine to his films. Apart from that, everything is done by hand making him one of the last real "craftsmen", a very endangered species indeed. Winning choice ? Definitely yes, because when most of the "pixar-like" films fade away quickly as soon as technology goes one step further, Miyazaki's will remain timeless and they'll probably even look better in a hundred years from now.

At the end of the day, whether you will like Hayao Miyazaki's world is entirely a matter of taste obviously. But he deserves that you give it a try anyway, for his work isn't only about craft or talent, it's also about love, passion, sensations and the genuine belief that there is beauty all around us. And these days, we do need a bit of that...

Just Friends

Just Friends is the story of serial womaniser Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) and his unplanned return to his home town after a ten year absence. Chris’ self imposed exile happens after he is publicly rejected by best friend and secret love. Now an attractive record executive, Chris is forced to spend Christmas at home with a popstar client (a hyper reality Christina Aguilera rip-off) Samantha James (Anna Faris). There Chris comes face to face with the world and the girl he ran away from.

It’s a dumb premise, but Just Friends works where so many other films fail. All of the pieces are charming as a whole. Perfectly pruned and brozened Reynolds is likeable throughout due to his endearing, cushion biting fat suit performance in the opening few minutes. Amy Smart is cute and sweet as the object of Chris’ desire. And all of the minor characters are written, played and directed to just the right note for a film of this type.

But the real reasons that make ‘Just Friends’ a must see for the romantic comedy junkie are not up front; one of these being Anna Farris performance as the petulant, semi-insane popstar Samantha James. Farris’ comic timing and OTT performance bring some of films biggest belly laughs. The other great gem is the perfectly brutal relationship Chris has with his brother Mike (Chris Maquette) with each of their scenes quickly descending to hilarious sibling torture.

Without question, ‘Just Friends’ firmly belongs in the guilty pleasure pile and all in all it’s a charming middle of the road film that works just right. I challenge anyone to watch it and not get a giggle, hell even Chris Klien is almost bearable.

I’m not going to say that ‘Just Friends’ is a good film. Hell, it’s just another sheep in the flock of films whose poster with white backgrounds with red lettering screams ‘Bland!’. This form of marketing has become so standard that just the briefest glance at these posters will instantly tell the casual viewer with its un-aggressive red lettering ‘Hey there. I’m a nice movie. Kinda’ like Dr. Dolittle and Norbit. I could even be a ‘Licence to Wed’. You know me, generic unchallenged fun for all the family.’ ‘Just Friends’ is, unapologetically, one of these films and I think it’s great.

Southland Tales - A Not-Short Retort...To Everyone!

You know, I half expected to like Southland Tales. No…really, I did. So what if the initial reviews varied from the negative to the outright hostile, I had faith in the man who brought us Donnie Darko. In fact, much like its predecessor, Richard Kelly’s follow-up is an epic and often baffling mixture of several fairly disparate influences, but that’s ok ‘coz they’re all things I like. Broadly encompassing everything from science fiction, political satire, apocalyptic musical (it may actually be the only ever example of this), comic books, and even the occasional treatise on the morals of pornography, Southland Tales sounded like my cup of tea…and coffee…and cocoa. Ok, so yes it does sound like a bit of a mess; and yes, it was (in)famously booed at Cannes, subsequently enduring a protracted, not to mention very expensive re-cut, including a new voice-over (never a good sign. Just ask Rick ‘Cold Fish’ Deckard.); and yes, it has made Richard Kelly the new poster child for difficult-second-feature-syndrome, but, at the risk of cementing my reputation as something of a serial contrarialist, I was still expecting to like this.
I was not expecting to love it.

Southland Tales opens in 2005 with a nuclear attack on the Texas town of Abilene and from there takes a ‘road less travelled’ look at contemporary politics and culture. Fast-forward to 2008. The repercussions of the attack on Abilene are felt throughout America: The Patriot act has mutated into an Orwellian nightmare called US-Ident; Everyone is monitored 24/7 through CCTV; army officers man huge mounted sniper turrets on beaches and the internet is now under federal control. Most worryingly, America is no longer reliant on fossil fuels abut instead uses a kind of wireless energy called Fluid Karma, that powers everything from S.U.V.s to Aircraft carriers. However the only people that understands the process, its creator Baron von Westphalen (Wallace Shawn) and his bizarre entourage (think the Adam’s Family meets the Jetsons), are as enigmatic as they are kooky. Oh and did I mention that it is also a powerful hallucinogen? Added to this is a caricature of the Republican/Democrat divide, here represented by cartoonish extreme left wing ‘Neo-Marxists’ and cartoonish Neo-Cons. Though the latter are tough to distinguish from their real life counterparts. Strange days indeed.

Our guide and narrator to this frightening new America is Private Abilene (creepily portrayed by the ever impressive Justin Timberlake), a mentally and physically scarred Iraqi war vet, now manning one of the aforementioned sniper turrets. He in turn introduces us to Boxer Santaros, a stereotypical big, dumb, action-movie star (ably played by The Rock in a knowing and genuinely comedic turn), who has ties to the Republican Party and has woken up in the desert with a bout of amnesia. Having forgetton his wife (Played by Mandy Moore), daughter of Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Bobby Frost (Holmes Osborne, best known as Donnie Darko’s dad) and US-Ident chief Nana Mae Frost (Miranda Richardson), he has shacked up with Porn star/energy drink promoter/current affairs chat show host/Pop Singer Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar playing possibly the karmic opposite of Buffy). Together they have written a screenplay, The Power, "an epic LA crime saga" about a super-powered cop and the end of the world.

To prepare for this role he goes for a ride-along with Officer Roland Taverner (Sean William-Scott, an absolute revelation), who, unbeknownst to Boxer, has been switched for his twin brother, Ronald Tavener… who just happens to have superpowers.Hmmm. This twin switching is all part of a hilariously convoluted Neo-Marxist plot to blackmail Senator Frost into supporting proposition 69 (oh stop giggling, the number here represents everything from porn, to politics, to the yin-yang karma symbol it resembles), which would restrict US-Ident’s powers. As events unfold it seems that Boxer and Krysta’s madcap screenplay is alarmingly prophetic. Just as all the disparate plot threads begin to converge it becomes clear that the world is heading towards an Apocalypse, but in a deliberate inversion of T.S.Elliot, it’s not gonna end with a whimper, but with a bang.

That is just a brief sketch of the plot to Southland Tales, and to be honest it doesn’t do it any justice. The scope of the film is just too big to encompass in such a brief summary. There are plenty of engaging diversions from the main plot for starters. These range from the baffling (Krysta’s TV show, wherein she, and fellow porn stars address the social issues of the day, encompassing everything from the Presidential election to that perennial concern, teen horniness.); to the disturbing (a TV commercial featuring a S.U.V. ‘humping’ an earlier model, followed by the tagline ‘coming soon’!?) to the outright weird (Justin Timberlake’s all singing, all dancing, all drug induced Budweiser advert/Mime to the tune of The Killers’ ‘All These Things that I’ve Done).

When it does engage with the main plot it is often difficult to tell if Richard Kelly is taking it deadly seriously or taking the piss. I suspect a bit of both, and that, in part is what makes Southland Tale such a unique experience. If you can imagine an LA set Ulysses written by Philip K. Dick and adapted into a comic by Jack Kirby, then in turn into a film by David Lynch, shot entirely through a kaleidoscope, you’d be half way to understanding just how brilliantly weird Southland Tales is. Lynch is a very good touchstone actually, as ‘Tales often comes across more Mulholland Drive with crayons than Donnie Darker. But this very deliberate weirdness is what makes ‘Tales such a ‘difficult’ film and, I suspect, what lead to the disastrous Cannes reception.

Make no mistake, Southland Tales is not for everyone. It is unlikely, for example, to appeal to anyone who likes definite, clear-cut closure to their films (just go watch some Spielberg instead, he never forgets to wrap thing up neatly. E.g., War of the Worlds…I will someday feed him his own fingers over that ending. Jesus! ). Southland Tales is very open to interpretation, with the apocalypse in question being easily read as a literal one or indeed a cultural one, and one suspects that not even Richard Kelly knows what the hell it is all about. But I believe that this is not only what makes it a great film but also a very important film. Kelly tackles issues big and small (War on Terror/teen horniness) with equal fervour while refusing to give us an easy answer. If the film appears a garbled mess than surely that is a perfect symbiosis of form and content. No? Regardless, it is a film that will stay with you long after you have left the cinema (or your sofa as the case may be.) and is sure to lead to many different takes and arguments down the pub between the 5 people who actually see this. To quote Harrison Ford speaking about Bladerunner: ‘Ambiguity is endlessly productive’. Too true.

So Southland Tales is indeed an absolute mess, but it is also one of the most charming, intelligent and outright hilarious films I have ever seen. From its cast, to its relentless genre hopping, to its random musical interludes, it felt as if someone made a film especially for me. I loved every minute of this film. I besiege anyone to rent this, or buy it (you’ll want to watch t again. It is a truly unique experience and those with an open mind will be well rewarded.
4.5/5

The Assassination of Jesse James Is Out on DVD

If you missed The Assassination of Jesse James (etc etc) on its cinema release go stand in the corner and think about what you've done. Though to be fair, there might be a lot of people in your camp. It seems there's only enough light to shine on a small number of films in the awards season, and some classics get left in the dark. Jesse James seemed to be the three legged dog that nobody wanted this year but it's hard to fathom why.

It's out on DVD this week. It's long but it's well worth your time and effort. Andrew Dominik cut his teeth dealing with a celebrity criminal in his debut film Chopper. With this, he set out to make a 'Victorian Western' about another celebrity criminal. So we have a Western that doesn't completely look like a Western. A film about a criminal that isn't really about the criminal, and a film about about celebrity that doesn't have a celebrity in sight - at least not in the terms we understand today. This is a revisionist Western that sees Brad Pitt play Jesse James as an unsettled, paranoid loner who will stop at nothing to protect his interests, rather than the mythic hero of folklore. The film is really about his assassin Robert Ford. It's about what some people will do to be the moth that hovers around the flame of fame and to go down in history with a legacy. It's about people's innate desire to narrativise, and mythologise their lives and the lives of others. It seemed no matter how hard Robert Ford tried, history would not treat him kindly. Casey Affleck is note-perfect in the role and in any other year (i.e. a year when Javier Bardem wasn't hoovering up awards) Affleck would have won an Oscar. Still, this could see him join his brother on the A-list.

The film is not perfect, it's slow, and the narrative is a little muddled in places but it demands work from audiences and duly rewards their patience. The cinematography from Roger Deakins is even better than his work on No Country For Old Men (but again, that film took the Oscar) The use of a narrator works perfectly, making it all feel like what it is, a story. A specific treatment of history. And that's exactly the point. The pacing is appropriate if demanding, making it feel like one of the classic narratively ambiguous and flawed masterpieces of the 70's such as Apocalypse Now, the Deer Hunter or to a lesser extent even McCabe and Mrs Miller.

It was a strange year in which There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men staked their claims as modern Westerns and modern classics. Perhaps it would have just looked weird to have 3 out of the 5 nominated films of the year fitting this mould (they even felt like they were working off the same colour palette!). Still, it would be interesting to see how Jesse James fares against the likes of Michael Clayton and Atonement over the next 20 years. Classics stand the test of time whether they win awards or not. Citizen Kane never won an Oscar. How Green Was My Something or other did...Exactly.*

(*Editors Note: We know How Green Was My Valley was actually a really good John Ford Movie but still...it's Citizen fuckin Kane!.)